While time is moving, as things are passing. Everything's changing, so is people.

You can be happy with your own company and your own friends, I won't have to do it your way anymore and i'm happy about that.
It really seems like it's a sudden stop to eveything and to this friendship. But it doesn't seem upsetting or anything anymore, it just seems like nothing. Cause i'm happy with who i am today and who i'm with. At least those friends don't despise me and order me to do things i don't like.

I am contented with how things are going on now. I'm trusting Yahweh for more and i'm gonna ask it from Him :) He will give me whatever i want and whatever i ask for! Amen :) I will grow and change from glory to glory, Amen!

It is probably a resting point for us and reflect on what we've been through before, what we've said and what we've done.
Sometimes i just cannot help but doubt my trust in you. That trust just doesn't lie anymore, it's faded away. I do wanna gain back that trust for this friendship but i cannot.
It's like everytime i know something goes wrong and i wanna know why, i wanna ask you about it. But i just cannot bring myself to cos you are my friend and a friend i don't wanna hurt. Most of the time when you hurt a friend, you end up losing them. So it ain't eay telling them how you feel. It just doesn't seem like it for me to use words and speak it out to people. I rather keep it to myself and let God understand everything.

I may be wronged and faulted by many, but so what? This is my attitude. To some it may be lousy or bad or alright, but i just cannot be bothered by what the world says. It feels different now, and my eyes are only towards Yahweh. It's like He's my only hope to Salvation, Refuge, Restoration, Guidance, Comfort and Rest. The things happening around me now doesn't really matter anymore. It's just such a cool sensation.

It's as though i'm in a place on earth, standing in a spot light and head lifted up. The only face or thing i see is Jesus' beautiful face. And the lovely blue sky covering every thing else. Then suddenly those saddening images show up but they flash pass. 2000 years ago, what Yeshuah has been through and what the full price of His blood He paid for me and the world. That generosity that i will not even shed for anyone, not even my own child in the future.

Afterwards, it's just WOAH. "IT IS FINISHED!" Jesus exclaimed! The torturous experience, so hurtful man, He did it for me already. So that i will experience what Jesus has been through. Not even the slightest pain near to what He has gone through. So awesome :) "And upon saying, He bowed down His head. He gave up (dismissed) His spirit." God is so wonderful.

This week was short man. Seems like it passed so quickly. Lol, anw yesterday was good! :D but i'll start with wednesday first.

There was no dance, so i met nurul after school, since a long long time to study and have lunch together <3 We cabbed down to Wisma, lunched at starbucks. The food was soo great. I wanna eat there again :P after studying a lil, we headed down to S.H.O.P.P.I.N.G. :) :)
I wanna spend a million bucks at Forever 21! The clothes there rock. And i wanna buy lotsa pretty dresses and tops and bottoms from Max & More Cotton On! :D God spare me with more than enough cash Amen! :P forever 21's tank tops is (Y)(Y)(Y).
Afterwards, we walked over to Ion. Window shop shop. The stuff there are, ordinary i guess. I only think that several shops such as Zara and Mango sell really nice wears. And then we trained to marina and bounced back home. Hahah. (p/s, i'm running tight in cash now cos i keep on spending it aimlessly :S trust god for extra pocket money.)

I stayed back on thursday after school with a few others to clarify doubts with science. I finally understand Digestion in Human Beings. Hahaha, now i pray that i can apply what i know in questions Amen :) after that, i headed home to self study! Good right.

Friday was the most fruitful one. Was supposed to study back after school with amanda and renwen to study science and history with kinyong, but. We were very lazy :P so decided to go home instead, since at night we were having math tuition. We might as well meet earlier for dinner and study :D :D So i met amanda at toa payoh hub later in the afternoon. We settled our dinner at pizza hut and the food was awesome! Did a lil bit of studying there, i helped amanda with math :D i'm intelligent cos His wisdom is on me Amen! :D :D :D

Tuition was fruitful. Renwen decided not to come cos she didnt wanna miss the last episode of he favourite tv program which consisted of 100 over episodes. Lol, amanda said she was very auntie! HAHAHA i think she's just being a little girl afterall :) Ah, anw i finally can differentiate the different set notations alr! YAY.

Today was boring. I went for dance prac + rehearsal in the morning. At 12.35, we were dismissed and i went over to j8 with novita and jovial to settle lunch. Ate at Yoshinoya (Y) good stuff. Hahah, i took more than an hr to eat then the other 2 were constantly staring at me and complaining. HAHA, sorry guys! Oh well, we had a really good talk haha. I hope we can have this again soon! :D but perhaps after exams since now's the 'busy period' for the whole school. Sighh.

After lunch, we walked about j8 aimlessly. Haha despite the pain under our feets (danced too hard, lol). I SAW A DICKIES BACKPACK FOR 39.90 ONLY. I WANT! AND I SAW A NICE CUTE LITTLE POUCH FROM COTTON ON. I WANT. AND AND A SMALL HANDY FROM LEATHER ATRIUM. ROCKS. AND VCDS! 6.50 CHEAP DEALS.
OMG LOL. I sound like i'm advertising already. HAHAHA. Ok lah, so you get the point okay. Hahaha.
Then we settled down at Mos cos we were too damn freaking exhausting from walking. Haha and we met jeremy and jun hao there. HAHAHA. Jun hao seem like he got a shock of his life when i BOO-ED HIM. HAHAHA.

Kk enough. I'm going to do my hw now :) calling rachel afterwards yo. Gng for 2nd with jovial, amanda and rachel tmr :) then studying at plaza sing + shopping at j8! I'M GOING BACK TO BUY WHAT'S MINE. HAHAHA :B
Bye!

School has been pretty okay so far. It's gonna be better than last week AMEN. I 'fought' and had a huge arguement w kenneth again today. Lol but like always lah. I came back from piano lesson not long ago. I had my grade 5 practical ystd, scary luh. It was at kovan so michelle and bridgette<3 were really nice to keep me company for that few hours and prayed for me :D

After the exam, we basically went to study at mac yup.

I found back my inspiration to play the piano again. So awesome. I actually didnt wanna go today since my exam was ystd, so no point right. I just went to mdm ng's place to pay fees and learn outside pieces. Lol. But she allowed me to choose several score sheets so she could play and let me listen. And for me to give it a shot XD IT WAS ULTIMATE COOL TTM. She played this chinese song which threw me back the determination to play well and hard enough to progress myself in the following grades :) God's plan-table. Cool right :D

There were alot of usual moments that happened at school today, after recess.
Before lit, kenneth kept on playing w kimb and xt then renwen and i had to shout for him before he heard us to get into groups. Lol.
Math: Ms lim was kinda unhappy w our class behaviour and attitude. We had to complete this workshop or course that took up 4 periods of math and technically, it was sucky. Bullshit was the word to use. (hansel said so) Lol but srsly, it was a freaking waste of time. What we did then will not even be tasted for exams, so it's like what the shit are we doing then? Afterwards, a classlist that was supposed to be passed down the class went missing. Everybody was just bochap when ms lim asked where the paper went. So when ms lim attitude, the whole class was like 'ORH OKOK, people, let's just find the paper lah'.

English: "Students never fail to get the poo poo out of me every year." Means we're very irritating, and we irritate the crap out of the teachers. Especially mr ko, cos he said it. Lol. "Example, i will still ge irritated by kenneth. Goose (angus) will keep saying stupid things. Edmund will keep giving me incomplete work, and..." then clint interrupted: "Eh mr ko! Then me leh me leh!?" LOL.
And then mr ko also said: "Idk why but i treat this class very good lor." then earnest and kenneth proclaimed: "Cos we rock and cos we're so likeable." Hahaha :B
After that, mr ko went through vocab, just explained what rheumatism meant then kenneth busy talking to earnest. When mr ko went back to that word again, kenneth randomly asked: "What's that" HAHAHA. Tsk, rats. Got such small ears, no wonder dont listen during class. HAHAHA. Then kenneth made a 'gun' using a pen and a correction tape refiller and shot me. Then he shot beiting and said: "Ah ha! This gun can either shoot you or scratch you."
Mr ko said sb wrote the meaning for a compre vocab word as eg, 1. Amicably: (cannot find in dictionary) & he said he started laughing to himself at the paper. HAHAHA. Also, he say many students like to give 'indirect meanings' for vocab. Eg, Deterrent: to deter sth. Lol then hansel say: "mr ko, maybe that one china dictionary, haha." then everybody look @ haoran but he busy looking at his mirror. ZILIAN. LOL. So mr ko was like "haoran, if you want you can go beat hansel up." and for the first time haoran so 'kind' replied: "huh? Aiya nvm lah." Lol. He said that cos he obviously didnt know what was happening. And then i laughed until my face become lobster red, followed by jen kuang. He slowest to react, then mr ko told jen kuang: "Er, jen kuang, you quite slow hor." Lol.

MR KO IS OFFICIALLY SPASTIC. DUH. OMG HUMOROUS GUY.

Ok, i wanna go sleep. Will post again TOODLES :D

Sorry i cant be perfect but i will try and change.

I wont be going to church tmr and i wont be appearing in church for a period of time. I have my reasons i guess but dont try asking. No point.
I'll probably only go for dare events but not very regularly. Just want to spend time with the dg now. And leave everyone else aside. The end.

This week has been blessed and really good! I actually dreaded coming back to school on sunday night, but God is really good :) He surpasses my expections cos this week has been really fun! But i'm trusting for more :D Woah, His love really doesn't fail me man.

This week at school, i accidentally hit kerene's * then i told beiting, and she said: "It's alright. You should eat the tofu while it's hot." LOL. And angus was being sarcastic as usual, when jen kuang hit his dick. "Jen kuang! You ok or not. Still got father's day mah?" Lol. Monday we had dance! So fun :) looking forward to next dance class yo.

Tuesday or something, we were given this english compre to do in class. It was on Venice and i teared while reading it cos it was way too boring. Lol, seriously man. Half of 1st para i alr yawned god-knows how many times, by the time i got to the 3rd para, i teared alr lol.

Then kenneth kept on oh my god-ing durnig cheena lesson. I told him to 'oh my god u head lah!' HAHAHA then we laughed super loud. Shh, inside joke.

On thursday, we had this relief teacher to take us for cme. No offence, but she does look really weird. Physically. Lol :P the class freaking made alot of noise then she couldn't take it, she started using cheena to talk to us but the class didnt really cared or listened to her. Everybody started shouting: "Sorry, we dont understand what you're saying. We're all english speaking people." then zhi sheng said out loud: "我不会讲华语。" HAHAHAHA!
Afterwards in the afternoon, we went to kenneth's place to do history project. The food was really awesome :) i love the nuggets and ribena! :P kenneth freaking gay please. I simply took a unglam pic of him, he kept on complaining and threatening me not to post it on fb otherwise he'd post my unglam shots lol. Like, whatever i dont even care and he cares lol. After that i took a shot of him and renwen, showed it to him and he said: "Omg i look so sissy but just post it." Me: "Huh? But why." Kenneth: "Cos i look nice." And then kenneth, being the laziest and clumsiet at the project work, took some chips and dipped them in ketchup sauce -.- wow. After he realised, he went like: Ah! I forgot i thought these were my nuggets! Hahaha!" He actually laughed at himself. Lol.

School was a long day yesterday.
Today was short and simple. Nothing much happened tho. Did coursework again during home econ, to prepare for practical exam cos next fri was it. Stayed back for about an hour to finish some history discussion then i was ready to head home! :) this week is super duper tiring. Alot happened, and the weekends are gna be super duper busy for me. Just pray for the best on monday at my piano practical amen! :D

Amanda's at my hse now. Gna go for tuition tgt later. Renwen's coming along too YAY. Today is a good day :)
Gna get my contacts on sunday before thirds svc :( dont wanna get it man. But cant help it lah, cos my contacts ran out and i need them for dance performances.
P/s, skipping dg session tmr again. Busy w studying and lots of sch work :X plus tmr got facial appt at night? Lol.

Kk ciao.

I'm believing for a change. Change for the better.
And He shall make my desires and visions come to past because He loves me way too much that God wants to give me an abundance of everything :) amen!

Was really glad i decided to return to church yesterday as i needed a revelation. The feeling just hit me so strong, i knew something good was gonna happen so i persisted on going back for svc.
Indeed, God never failed me. The sermon was what i needed. Condemnation is the barrier that is stopping me from a step closer to Jesus. It kills and it robs. The Truth (Jesus) shall set me free from all condemnation for He so loved the world :D

Still trusting God for more and overflooding of favour. This coming week is called to be blessed and i shall do exremely well for my tests! Amen amen!

I've been eating alot of flour (bread) these 2 days. Wow, so amusing right?
I've the sudden strong urge to go back to SDT to learn ballet. It was donkey years ago since i really learnt ballet man. Oh well.

I was told to rest at home this weekend and not go to church. So i skipped dare today and am gna skip sunday svc tmr. So don't be surprised or wonder why i didn't turn up at church yup.
Since so much has happened, i should just park my car at one corner and take a drink. I shouldn't let those oncoming cars to keep driving towards my direction. My ugly situations may not be countless but they really seem microscopic, nobody seem to really be able to see what i'm going through. Perhaps it's just me. I just don't tell other people how i'm feeling everytime and my problematic matters. I can really love my friends but sometimes i just cannot stand them. I just don't find peace in telling them my problems and my emotions, that feeling is really a pain in the axx. Screwed.

These days i really cannot control myself. What i do. What i think. My intentions. My emotions. My feelings.
And then i start to reveal my ugly truth. I feel like i'm stuck in between everybody's expectations, comments, contradictions, corrections, judgements and stories. They are shooting at me and i cannot escape! I feel very lost and tired, i just dont know how to run away from all these anymore. And worst of all, i feel that i'm drifting further and further away from church.

Just like mid week, i went but i cannot get into the mood of worshipping the Father. And i keep getting angry over the smallest thing possible at my best and closest friends. Why do my close and good friends always tio by my moodswing. Wl, i really dont wanna treat them this way luh. And when they are trying their best to help me feel better and happier, i turn them down all the time. I feel so damn bastard. But i just cannot wear off all these hindering problems that keep on coming against me.

In addition, my eoy and streaming exams are very very near. I'm bombarded w so many common tests this coming week and i've to keep focus and start studying. I'm beginning to neglect my studies! I really need Him to salvage me and keep me under the shadow of His safe and secure Wings man. I really need Him to guide me what to do next that is right. I really really need God so badly.

Why is everybody going against me and shooting more and more arrows at me at this point of time! I'm tired of life. I wanna give up already but it's not possible. I'll ruin everything in a blink of an eye within my own hands.
God, change me please. Change and turn every (temporial) ugly situation for my good please. I really cannot take the wheel on my own anymore.

Yesterday was damn bastard. I wasted hours of my precious time at mid week then didn't receive anything. Stupid. I don't blame the svc or pastor lawrence. I blame myself and some bastard people over there last night.
Their attitude is srsly retarded and childish, freaking insensible and infuriating. Don't know how their parents teach them. Come to church for the complete wrong reason, shit you group of tards.

School is getting even more and more tedious and stressful. Gotta do so much project work and school work. More tests to study for, revision for every subject at the same time. Really alot to balance man. I can't do it anymore man, i desperately need God. I really gotta let go of the stirring wheel and let Him take it. Other wise i'll just get into a huge accident or crash, then i'll die and it's the end of me. "Even the best falls down sometimes" applies alot.

Anyway, school today was the best amongst the other 4 days. At least it didn't feel unawesome, hahah. Did mainly coursework for last 3 periods during home econ today, honestly it was kinda fun cos i enjoy doing research and coursework :P at least better than cooking! OMG cooking's the killer for me. And then we're gna having practical exam on the 28th, i've to cook alone w/o renwen! Ah die. But it's alright trust God :D He will be my guidance and give me supernatural intelligence, efficiency and boldness to cook! Amen :D :D

Today after school, stayed at the school library to do some history stuff w josephine, janice, kimb, xt and renwen. Left the 'crowd' earlier for lunch at interchange w renwen, dylan and weiliang. Hahaha ate at koufu! My awesome kway chap! (thumbs up*) then bought bread talk for family breakfast tmr :) Ate till super full, oh wells.

Got lotta hw to complete for the weekend, revision and studying for tests + doing hist mind map! Yay i think i'll only be enjoying doing that :B cos history rocks! <3 kk later got math tuition, bye bye.

P/s, pray that saturday and sunday can go church amen! Shhh :P

I finally understand the feeling of breaking down.
When the bottle cracks into pieces, they are sharp and they cut you real hard, it is painful, it does hurt alot.
And that feeling completely sucks.

I received my most horrible results today, it doesn't just apply for my tests results but my relationship between people. I don't understand, do people who always bottle up their feelings until a limit when they cannot take it any longer, get easily fed up with anyone even their friends?

I really hate it that way and i don't wanna be angry with **, she's a really good friend and i don't wanna lose her. But sometimes she just don't understand how i feel and i just don't know how to let out my emotions and feelings to the world. I may want to but i just don't know how cos it ain't easy for me.

I prayed that today would marvellous and awesome but it turned out so awful. I'm not gonna lose faith in God, i'm gonna keep on pushing cos all that's happening right now is a catch up. The freaking devil is trying to catch up with me and my blessings but i know it's not gonna happen cos my blessings are alr there, they aren't able to run away from me! Amen!

Today was exhausting.
And so is trying to take your hands on everything by self.

Just when you think everything will still look the best, it actually isn't cos it starts to show through myself. The completely filled bottle will not spill or tumble, it will start to crack and then it breaks down. Just like my heart and me.
My life is His forever, He take it all, He controls my life, and i shall let Him do whatever He wants with it.

Though many things turn out this way but i know it's part of His plan for me. And i know He knows every little information about what's gna happen next and what's gna happen tomorrow. But whatever it is, He's always gna be there and He's never gna leave me. I lay down my life for You Jesus, You picked it up and You're making it well. You will make every worse situation turn out the best and the most remarkable.

I just can't do these on my own, i'm leaving it to You. You will take it all and handle them good and proper. And then you will return it to me, in tip top position. Thank You Father, i really do love You. And i wanna worship and keep on praising You all my life cos my life is Yours and You saved it.

I may be unhappy with a hypocritical bastard living by my side, but i know it's not gna affect me, it's gna help me cos You'll turn all things around for my good because of Your Glory. You Glorious God, thanks for loving me so much that sometimes i just can't receive all at a shot :D

I'm not by my own, i'm with You. And i'm gna go do my zuo wen now, You shall give me the inspiration to think and write, the strength to stay awake and keep my mind working. I call this week and the following weeks blessed in Jesus Mighty Name :) Amen.

I'm just gonna dump everything aside, big or small, large or little.
Now i will only look to Him.

It was that 30 kg cross and when His glory appears, and that Light of the Sun.
We see Salvation. God is for us and He will never forsake me!

It's glory to Him and Him only. Only He can assure every little moment for me, only He can provide me with what i need, only He can produce the best for me.
I'm well with Him. I commit my everything, my soul and spirit to Him.

I will walk with You for all my days, there's no greater Love than this.
You are the Author and the Way.

This is the sound of the Redeemed, and we sing to praise the Saviour.
:)

JESUS I LOVE YOU MUCH MORE!

Had the sudden urge to say this.

I FEEL SO DEPRIVED OF BUYING SOLID COLOURED HOODIES RIGHT NOWWW! :D :P
Multiple colours yes! - Green (kinda ew but :P), orange, red, grey, white! Maybe more, heheh! I dream too much alr luh :P

Kk bye bye, gna watch zack & cody now :B

Today was good, but not that perfect or anything. Oh wells!
Anyway i returned back to school after 2 days of mc. It was shitty staying at home on your birthday, especially when you're sick that's why you can't go out :(
But today's outing was quite okay lah. I don't mean the beach thingy, the meeting church peeps part :P sorry jay! But you're a greattt friend k! :D :D :D serious!

Oh fyi, the class movie date was cancelled cos last min alot ppl couldnt attend. Idk why but everybody seems really busy this week but not me :B feels super weird. but anyway,
School > East coast to do cip > back to school > toa payoh > city hall > tampines > tampines 1 + century sq > orchard > bishan > home!

Got to school and met kenneth outside general office! Yay hahah. Good thing to start the day okay :) then after the super long morning assembly, went back to our classes and by 9, we set off on the bus to east coast. The cip activity was super tiring okay, sweat really like pig lor, under the scorching sun. Omg can die :S but it was quite enjoyable lah, with the class mah :D got more bonding time tgt.
You might wonder why we do cip activity to celebrate national day right? While other schools get to sit in the halls or auditoriums to celebrate it :( ah but it's okay, still fun i guess. Anw, we got back to school bout 11 plus then went to the class and locker for awhile before heading off to tp. Gotta change outta my stinky pe tee then train to city hall to meet jay. I almost wanted to kill him! Made me wait for him for 20 mins! >:)

We then trained to tampines to look for my dickies backpack but couldn't find it. So it was quite a pity lah cos we went till very far. But it's okay, god will restore amen! :D then we went for lunch and trained back to orchard to meet joce and laogong. & on our way back, jay produced a patch. A super nice one but it's our little secret :P hahaha!
When we got to orchard, it was alr 4 plus so joce & laogong had to go back >:( wllll. Your damn b*tch sia hahah :P kk lah but we still spent awhile walking at wisma then had to go alr, so left jay wandering there alone. Omg omg omg i feel damn bastard but i'm forgiven and there's therefore now no more condemnation amen! :D sorry girlfriend really sorry :B
Trained to bishan with joce, had a really good talk with her bout * heheh, shh. Won't say :D

Bought mac for dinner as soon as we got to bishan :) wow i seem to have ate alot of fatty food today, feel v condemned :P but be condemnation-free yay :D hahaha! Trust god trust god :P anw, 57-ed home and today was a great day! Tho richard last min had tuition, couldn't join us. Nikolai had doreen's party to attend for, which he forgotten about -.- (the forever forgetful dude lah :B), dominic also had another bday party to go, joel couldnt go cos he wasnt allowed to, donatus had to finish his dnt project, wow. Alot of people and alot of reasons lah but it's okay, still got monday :D yippee!

Kk tmr not gng for lvl session alr, saded lah :( i wanna go man! But i cant, cos got lotsa work to do and catching up. Need to study and revise my work, + this coming week's gna be test-filled lah, guaranteed one but just pray that He'll make it a fruitful and awesome one luh! Amen :D :D :D

Bye yooo!

I just typed out a super good, long revelation about my God.
Great, blogger is bullshit, it just deleted my post out of nowhere. Supposing it would be saved under draft, it turned out to not be that way.

Sometimes you just can't help but be really angry over this. Ugh.
Forget it, i need God to restore me. And possibly, return me that awesome post. Amen.

Screw my cough.
It is taken away, Amen! :D Woah, i wanna go school today man but sick. So can't :( then kenneth super funny last night. I was in a freaking lousy mood then used alot of profanities towards daryl lah. Sorry man, i know you understand one :) After piano, kenneth msg me say, "You should go and read your blog post, it was funny.. You must have taken 10 hrs to post your recent post right? Cos pigs don't have fingers! Hahaha!" He's so lame, omg. But everytime i'm unhappy, kenneth always cheers me up with his oh-so lame craps. Thank you dude! I mean, rat.

I just realised that tmr's my birthday. Yay! And i fell sick. Har, nice -.-
Anyway, i will go back to school tmr amen! I hope i can receive lotsa pressies! And wishes and warm hugs from people! Hahaha :D And am gng out with some people tmr after school ^^ think cheryl, donatus, dominic, joel, nikolai and and and, idk who. I forget forget :S and hopefully the movie outing on friday with school peeps is gonna be awesome and successful! :) A-men!
Oh! And eoy exams are coming real soon :O 1 and a half more month only. Yay, can't wait. Once it's over there's gna be so much things i wanna do! Go out with friends, shopping, slacking, gng to the beach, class outings, dg outings, long chats with friends, visiting of friends houses, movies marathon! And so much more, woohoooo! God's gonna hand me awesome jesus results! 7As A-men!!! :D :D :D

P/s. Daryl, just shut up. I know you're very concerned about my problems but i don't want anyone to care. I will care for myself and i know what to do. God's for me i know. You're a nice and caring gentleman. But you're too over insensitive. When i tell you not to worry for me, i mean it. Just leave me alone and shut up, you'll be saving me alot of trouble. Sorry for being so harsh and mean, but i just need the peace of God for now. And when it's right again, i'll talk to you. But it's not now. So just quit worrying and worry bout urself first. Thanks.

*I guess justin's right. I shouldn't put myself under so much pressure and mug like siao everyday. Even tho streaming's really important for me, but there's still sec 3 and 4. I either do too much or too little. But i don't wanna do just average, i wanna do really well. So that i won't have to disappoint anyone anymore. When i did too little last semester, it was not enough and i got my F9s. And when i do too much, i'm afraid it'll be too late and i've been tiring myself out these weeks so much.
I srsly need to calm down and do what i like to do. But there are so many buts and howevers. I'm scared that once i loosen up a bit, it'll end up being too much then i neglect study time and work. If i don't, i'll keep having bad sleeps and little rest and then i get too tensed up.
I need God's salvation in this area man. I just dk how to do it on my own lah. God save me, just help me. I need to depend on Your Grace. When i seeked You for the love for studying, You gave me more than enough. And now idk how to use it properly and i kept on using it like it's not infinite and may run out anytime. I wanna enjoy studying and then see awesome results but i don't wanna sweat and stress. I wanna peace out man.

Aiya, i'm leaving these in God's hands already lah. Need to Rest :) bye.

Oh shoot, blogger is still crapping away.
Why isn't this blogger problem fixed? I wanna upload pix yknow, and it's gonna be so overdued ald. Aiya tsk.

Anyway i had to skip dance today cos i had my period. What a nice timing to come. Dance finally resumed, i was anticipating it, and then it had to come last night. My tumtum had super bad cramps today morning till now, so miss lim told me to rest at home :) yippee hahah :P
Ohwells, morning assembly resumed at the parade ground today. It sucks. All the time -.- Hahahaha. However, it didn't turn out that bad :) School was really fun. I was still as sleepy as ever during classes but prolly this time was diff cos of the period -.- tsk being girls can be really troublesome at times luh.
Kenneth called me SE-VEN times during class today within O-NE period. First time he called: (obviously i didn't pick up) i turned around and he did some dumb handsign - "Can you follow me to the bubble tea shop later?" I ignored. Second time: I turned around and he kept begging me to follow him. I ignored. Third time: I turned around and he was begging me in some weird manner like how you pray in a temple. Hahah! I signalled: Shut up! Fourth time: I turned around, he wasn't there at his seat ald. Weird, so i turned back round and he appeared in front of me. Scared the shit of out my life can? Lol. "Please please please? Go with me after school lah, pig." "No idw. I very lazy." And then fifth time: I turned around and signalled: What the hell do you want!? And kenneth showed me a 'P' using his fingers, which obviously represents = pig. Funny -.- The last 2 times, he did it for fun cos when i turned back, he was happily laughing away. Idiot, hahaha!
Woah, and i hate moodswings okay. Just cos of the stupid stupid stupid cramp, i got myself fed up with xintian and some others. I feel super bastard man, but they understood :) Thanks guys, love yall<3 And a good way to relieve ur stess would be colouring blank papers with bright lovely colours! My chia 'psychiatrist' taught me :D
Oh and kenneth and xintian kept on throwing paper balls to me. And in one of rat's paper ball wrote: Just follow me to the shop lah! I don't care, you have to come! I've alot of things to tell you, like how i'm going to cut you up and eat you!" HAHAHA!

Oh yeah, i had to give dare a miss on saturday cos had caught up with something else :) Had this karaoke birthday celebration session with family and relatives and some of mom's friends. It was like all adults there, and only caifan = chicken muffin was there with me. Hahaha but we had a really really good talk man. Chicken muffin! God is for you and not against you okay? Trust Him, He never fails you! :) And He will never forsake nor abandon you, cos you're His beloved princess and you're a prisoner of Hope! :D :D :D

Church on sunday. Joce i love you to bits! Thanks for doing so much for me, tho the celebration wasn't very successful or turned out the way all of us expected it to be, but i was really happy yesterday :) Especially last night kay. And dominic, thanks ah. For ur presents :B Why go tell me all of them cost 1buck?! Hahah, give me some hope mah. Lol. Oh wells, thank you all those poopies who turned up yesterday! I really appreciate what yall did for me :) :) Yes! Anyway, i love the presents a heaven lot o'lay! :B Especially pearlyn! Yes you woman! You babe! I love your card okay, tho it was really simple but i love it the most, really man :D I know ur gonna be super happy when you see what i posted right? Haha, i wanna see you soon lah! :D :D And sherlyn you siao woman! Where have you been? (you mia for so long luh, tsk D:)

I'm looking forward to this weekend again! Yay. I wanna go lvl session! I wanna spend time with davids! Yay yay yay. So fun, i miss my dg, cos i missed dare! :( hahahah, i wanna go sunday (national day) svc with davids too! Yay yay and more yay. Hahah wanna spend more good times with them! :)

Kk i'm gonna go do my work now, and mug :D Cos i didn't mug yesterday night when i came home :( but there's therefore now no condemnation! Condemnation-free life rocks, woohoo! Alot of work to do man. But God's awesome! And mugging's gonna be easy with Him yeah! :D